Moral Outrage
Whew! God help us!

Uncle Sam needs our help again way off yonder in Afghanistan

Oh it’s one, two, three what are we fightin’ for?
Don’t ask me, I don’t give a damn.
Next stop’s Afghanistan.
And it’s five, six, seven, open up the Pearly Gates.
Ain’t no time to wonder why.
Whoopee! We’re all bound to die!

Come on all you young women and men,
Uncle Sam needs your help again.
He’s got himself into a terrible jam,
Way off yonder in Afghanistan.
You ain’t got a job, so pick up a gun!
We’re gonna have a whole lotta fun!

All you folks in the National Guard,
You won’t be protecting your back yard.
We may have floods and hurricanes here,
But you’ll be dodging bullets in the desert there.
But if that’s not what you signed up for,
We’ll send you there a few times more!

General McCrystal, jump right in!
Your big chance has come again.
The VC whupped us back in ’74,
But now you can show some Muslims what-for,
And maybe even earn you a medal or three,
Sittin’ at your desk in DC.

Chorus:
Oh it’s one, two, three what are we fightin’ for?
Don’t ask me, I don’t give a damn.
Next stop’s Afghanistan.
And it’s five, six, seven, open up the Pearly Gates.
Ain’t no time to wonder why.
Whoopee! We’re all bound to die!

Come on mothers, here’s the plan,
Send your son off to Afghanistan.
Come on fathers, it’s all cool,
Send a daughter off to Ka-Bool.
And if they die, they come home free,
And nobody has to see.

Chorus

Okay Wall Street, here’s the deal:
Middle East oil is yours to steal.
Afghani blood, American too, is being shed now
Just for you!
And you can charge whatever you dare,
Cuz Washington don’t care.

Chorus

Bush and Obama, you’ve done your best,
You’ve made the Middle East into one sweet mess!
But that’s okay, there’s still a plan:
To divert attention just bomb Iran!
And if that seems a bit unwise,
Well hell, you’ve got the Nobel Prize!

Chorus:
And it’s one, two, three, what are we fightin’ for?
Don’t ask me, I don’t give a damn,
Next stop’s…
Pakistan?

–“Fixing to Die Rag” modified by Dave Lindorff, a Philadelphia-based journalist and columnist.

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